Arguments with coworkers or customers need to be quashed before things get out of control. It all starts with taking a deep breath and remembering that everyone is human. After that, these three conflict de-escalation skills will help you diffuse the situation and move forward with success.
1. Listening
Listening is a skill everyone is taught in elementary school, yet it seems the hardest to master. You don’t have to agree with the other person, but you should give them your undivided attention. Truly listen to what they are saying without letting your mind wander, thinking about a rebuttal.
Often, some people just want to have their feelings heard. Once someone listens to what they say, they may even calm down. Allow them to finish speaking completely without interruption. Forget winning or being right; the most important thing to do here is de-escalating the problem.
While listening, put yourself in their shoes and try to understand why they’re upset. Being empathetic will give you greater insight into the problem and help you find a resolution.
2. Responding
After listening carefully to your customer or coworker, you can then respond. It’s important to keep your tone calm and acknowledge their feelings before you explain your side of things. They will see that you were listening and care about how they feel.
While you explain your perspective, stick with the facts of the disagreement. It’s never helpful to be insulting, especially in a professional setting. If you were at fault for something you did or said, you should apologize. Some people see apologies as a sign of weakness, but this line of thinking only holds you back. An apology shows strength, character, and confidence.
To effectively diffuse the conflict, it’s best to avoid telling the person to calm down. It won’t do anything to soothe them. An apology will work wonders.
3. Calming Body Language
While listening and then responding, you should also pay attention to your body language. You may not realize that you are clenching your fists or using an aggressive stance. Try to relax your muscles and don’t stand too close to the other person.
In a heated argument, it may be wise to put some space between you to help ease the tension. Take a deep breath to relax your body’s responses. By assuming a position that is not antagonizing or threatening, it will make resolving your conflict go more smoothly.
Pollack Peacebuilding teaches de-escalation techniques that can be instrumental in the workplace. Suppose unpredictable situations arise in your place of work. In that case, it can be an asset to know how to calm problems between various personalities for the greater good of your company.